Friday, September 12, 2014

Friday Reads

I've been saving up links over the past few weeks and finally decided it was time to hit publish. Most of these were written by friends and former professors; each one is lovely and perfect.

Enjoy, and happy Friday!

"today I am coming out as a person that is capable of large amount of love for other persons" by John Mortara (If you haven't read John's work yet, prepare to fall in love.) 

Two super gorgeous poems by Kathleen Jones in the new issue of MiddleGray Magazine (flip to page 34, but also read the whole thing). Plus an interview! "Kathleen Jones on Foreignnes, Home, and Flower Cacti"

"Portraits of Handwashing" by Eric Tran (so swoon-able.) 

"Mama Never Told Me There'd Be Days Like These Because She Met My Father in Kindergarten and Carried Only His Name in Her Notebook All the Years Since," by Sally J. Johnson (Everything Sally writes is gold.)

"A Guide to Surviving Your Father's Homelessness" by Hannah Dela Cruz Abrams (I was so lucky to turn Hannah from a professor into a friend!)

"Prayer for Gluten," by Wendy Brenner (I laughed and laughed, and then I ate a loaf of bread.) 

"Living Simply in a Dumpster," by James Hamblin. (I do not know the writer or the man in the dumpster, but I really enjoyed this article and thought you might, too.) 

Monday, September 08, 2014

The Dogs Days of Summer

This past week was a good one. Nothing crazy, or out of the ordinary, or especially adventurous. Just easy & pleasant & nice. Even though it wasn't the kind of week that makes great blog fodder, I'm going to give it a shot anyway. 

Nathan and I both had the whole weekend off, which hardly ever happens. As the Saturday approached, we made many grand plans. Camping at a nearby lake! Kayakying out to Masonboro island! Finally finishing the chicken coop! Unfortunately it rained the whole. entire. weekend. While this washed out many of our plans, we still had a good time. We decided to brew a batch of beer, the first one in a long while. We ended up drinking a beer at the homebrew shop while getting our ingredients, which was pretty wonderful - the folks at Wilmington Brewing Company really are the best. We ended up choosing an English Porter and after an easy afternoon brewing and hanging out with our friends K and W, we treated the chickens to leftover spent grains. Everyone was happy. 

This week was also the annual Pooch Plunge. I have blogged about it before (in 2011, 2012, and 2013, to be exact) so I won't flood you with the usual photos. I will say that it continues to be the best week of the year, at least according to Seamus and Calvin. In case you need a refresher, Wilmington's public pool closes after Labor Day, and the following week, before it is drained, they open the pool to dogs. It costs $5 per pup, and the money goes to the local animal shelter, so there's really no reason not to go. We went a record breaking three times this week, and it was great. Seamus loves to swim, and Calvin loves to chase a ball through the water, and I love to watch them having the time of their lives. Plus the Pooch Plunge is the only thing that will keep Calvin asleep past 6AM and that is priceless. 

The other morning I snapped the above photo of our living room and posted it on Facebook and Instagram. It reminded me that I still owe y'all a proper tour of our new house. One day. In the meantime, it's safe to say that this house is one of the main reasons things have been so nice and pleasant and easy lately. It's amazing what a difference actually liking the place you live can make.

As for today, it will be a busy Monday. A morning meeting, then a class to teach, then a rainy afternoon at home, catching up on some freelance assignments, and finally yoga. I'm recommitting to fitness this week, and I already have the sore muscles to prove it.

I hope your week is off to a relaxed and productive start. More soon.

PS: All photos from my Instagram account, AKA the lazy way to document my life in a semi-meaningful way. 

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Show Up

I enjoyed this article about The Psychology of Writing. It's fascinating and interesting and kept me from actually writing for a good ten minutes. Which is sort of ironic, considering the whole thing can be summed up with the following image: 

I also love that the mug in the illustration is clearly Dear Sugar's design, which I own and adore, but only allow myself to use those mornings when I am Actually Writing. Speaking of, I better get back to it. 

Thursday, August 28, 2014


The fall semester started last week. I'll spare you my first day photo, even though I did head back to the classroom. I'm teaching a section of First Year Seminar at UNCW, which is basically College 101. How to manage your time, how to establish good study habits, how to use the library, etc. Compared to the classes I taught while in graduate school, it's a piece of cake. It's also exactly what I needed. 

Teaching three times a week provides just enough structure to my freewheeling freelance lifestyle (I'm putting on pants and interacting with humans on a regular basis!). It's a nice bump in my income. And it's eerily fitting. You see, each time I meet with my students, we talk a lot about transitions, adjustments, and survival strategies. How to make friends, form a community, and turn this university into home. The struggle of figuring out who you are and what you want and creating a life you can be proud of. And even though it's been 14 years since I was a college freshman, I find myself in a similar position. 

When you live in a college town, goodbyes are a part of life. People disappear in the summers, friends graduate and move away, programs begin and end, and you can't even count on tenure to keep folks around. Nacogdoches was a college town, and the seven years I spent there were filled with goodbyes until one day, I was the friend moving on. Now that we're in Wilmington, it's the same sort of life. 

I've said goodbye to a lot of people this summer, and each one has been a heartbreak. The last friend to leave was Erica, who took off two weeks ago for a job in Rhode Island, and that goodbye was especially devastating. Erica was the very first person I met in the MFA program, and we bonded instantly. Meeting her was a sigh of relief, the feeling of finally coming home to the friend you always knew was out there. 

Obviously, I'm still friends with Erica and everyone else who left Wilmington. But Wilmington is different now, and I feel like I did when I first arrived three years ago. Brand new all over again. 

So when I sit in that classroom three times a week, and I tell my students that change is hard and transitions are tough, but by the end of their college career - hell, by the end of this fall semester - they'll barely remember a time when this place didn't feel like home, I'm telling myself the same thing. "Listen," I say. "I've started over a bunch, and each time I've ended up with more friends, more love, and more joy in my life. Change is good, even though it doesn't always feel that way in the moment." 

It's hard to tell if they believe me yet, but that's okay. One day they'll look back and see that I was right. And so will I. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The Freelance Life: Month Three

If it feels like this blog is becoming all freelance, all the time, I apologize. I promise to write about other things soon, but creating a new career for myself has been taking up a lot of my time and energy. Things seem to finally be settling into a comfortable routine, so hopefully I'll be able to write about something else soon. In the meantime, month three is in the books. Here's how it went. 

July was a slow month, which caused a few fits of panic and shook my confidence more than I'd like to admit. (Spoiler alert: August has already been much better!) I soldiered on and tried to use my free time wisely. I sent out more pitches, worked on novel revisions and my query letter, and tried to do the best job possible at the start up so they'll keep me around. Nathan and I were also dealing with the bulk of our move during late July/early August, so I'm actually lucky that I didn't have as much work to do. I've read that freelance writing, like most industries, is slower in the summer and tried not to worry too much. 

Everyone at the start up put in extra hours last month as we prepare for the release of the app (!!!). My ghost writing gig picked up again at the very end of the month, which was nice. And even though the xoJane article paid the least, it got the most attention from friends and family. Turns out everyone likes a good love story! Even though July was light, it did offer a lot of variety and flexibility, which are the best perks of freelancing. 

Best Articles Written in July & Published Under My Name: 

Income in July: 
Tech Start Up: 1160
Ghost Writing Gig: 220
Online Women's Magazine: 150
xoJane: 50

Total: 1580 
(I didn't do a good job of saving money in July, due to making less + moving. Most of this was spent as soon as I received it.) 

Goals for August: 
Stay on top of my assignments. Create a schedule and stick to it. Finish revising my novel and send it out to agents. Get excited about the semester and the class I'm teaching. SAVE MONEY OR ELSE. 

For more, check out previous installments of The Freelance Life: 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

This is 32

I turned 32 this past Saturday. I love my birthday and I truly enjoy getting older - so far, my 30s have been my most interesting and fulfilling decade yet. I sincerely hope that trend continues.

And speaking of trends, I finally got around to writing my yearly time capsule to commemorate this occasion. Here's what 32 looks like, right now, as I live it. 

Thirty-two is standing at the precipice of a new phase, while saying goodbye to the last one. 

Thirty-two is putting down roots in Wilmington, renting a new house, and making local friends who don't necessarily know or care what an MFA is. 

Thirty-two is figuring out how to make a life that revolves around writing, even when it isn't easy or convenient or rewarded in any tangible way. Thirty-two is still working on the same book that I was writing at thirty-one, which is sort of crazy to think about. Thirty-two is making final edits and polishing a query letter, wondering if an agent will take me on and help me get published. 

Thirty-two is taking risks with my career, striking out along the path of self-employment, hoping it leads to self-fulfillment. Thirty-two is trusting that my income will increase as I get better at this whole writing-for-hire thing. Thirty-two is referring to my work as a "freelance empire" because above all else, thirty-two is optimistic. 

Thirty-two is debt, soul-crushing, seemingly insurmountable, regularly depressing debt. But it's also paying bills on time and the world's tiniest savings account, and that almost feels like a triumph. 

Thirty-two is blogging less, even though I still love it. Thirty-two is having less time to say what I want, or maybe just less to say. Maybe so much has been said already, and I'm content with waiting until I have something new to add. 

Thirty-two is supporting my husband as he starts a new career as a paramedic, learning to be selfless and give space when it's needed, to listen and console, to understand that sickness and death are a part of life, even though I haven't yet accepted it. 

Thirty-two is two dogs and seven chickens, best friends and broken hearts, good intentions and canceled plans. Thirty-two is feeling smaller and bigger at the same time, staying focused on my goals , my family, my friends. Thirty-two is a whole summer lost to transitions. Thirty-two is a fried egg every single day.

Thirty-two is looking forward more often than looking back. Thirty-two is watching as things begin to fall into place. Thirty-two is here, and it's going to be great. 

(PS - A similar snapshot of life at 31.) 

Thursday, August 07, 2014

Published at xoJane!

Friends! I'm popping in to let you know that I have a short and sappy essay up at xoJane today. In true xoJane fashion, it's called "I Dated My Husband for 10 Years Before I Was Ready to Marry Him." In case you can't tell from the title, it's about love, marriage, and patience. It also features this photo, which was taken by our friend Terry shortly after we started dating, when we were barely 21 years old and I still had dreadlocks. Oh, youth.

N and me, ten years ago.

And in case you like background on my published pieces: this one was part of an experiment in which I am pitching ideas to magazines and websites that actually pay. While the process is a bit time consuming and can be very hit-or-miss (you have to actually read the magazine or website so you know their style, and there's no guarantee they'll take your idea) it's essential to building a proper Freelance Empire. Luckily, the worst someone can say is no thanks, which, as a writer, I'm quite used to. The best that can happen is they say yes, and you get to see your words in print and watch your bank account grow a tiny bit! 

As always, thanks for reading my words and for being supportive of my work. I appreciate it more than you could ever know. <3

Sunday, August 03, 2014

The Lost Summer

Summer has always been my favorite season. I love the heat, the sun, the beach. I love backyard cookouts and porch drinking. I love yard games and late sunsets and fresh pesto and strawberry picking. I love my birthday in early August (let the countdown begin!). I feel more alive in the summer than I do during any other time, and I look forward to it all year. 

Which is why this particular summer has been a tiny tragedy. I've spent most of it indoors, at a desk, or stressing about our move. I know what you're thinking: most people spend the summer indoors. It's called work and the majority of people must go to it. And I get that, I do. But I've spent the last 14 years, give or take, in academia. Even when I had to go to work, the pace was slower, the vibe more relaxed. I measure my life in semesters, and it's a method that has always just sort of worked.

Until now.

The problem is that I graduated in May and hit the ground running. I was desperate to build my freelance empire so I didn't take any time off or allow myself even a moment of rest. I live on the coast of North Carolina, but I haven't been to the beach in over a month. TRAGEDY, I TELL YOU.

I'm writing this post not to complain, but to make a public promise to myself. This summer will be salvaged. There are three weeks until the semester starts (and I'm teaching one class, so I can still measure my life in semesters at least a little bit) and thanks to our tropical climate, summer actually stretches to October in these parts. There are plenty of beach trips in my future, plenty of backyard bashes to have - especially now that we're semi-settled in our new house and the backyard is awesome. Yesterday was Saturday, and even though it was thunderstorming and we're still dealing with lingering stress from the worst move ever, we randomly stopped by a friend's house and drank afternoon beers. While it wasn't the beach, it was relaxing, spontaneous, and very much needed, and it renewed my resolve to save this summer before it's too late.

Summer Goals for August 
Host a birthday/housewarming party
Kayak to Masonboro Island
Go to the beach at least once a week
Go the Riverfront Farmer's Market
Check out Airlie Gardens Summer Concert Series
Get the garden ready for fall plants
Explore running routes in our new neighborhood

Not a bad list, and not at all hard to accomplish. The trick will be actually getting up from my desk and leaving my laptop behind. One thing at a time... 

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Booze News from Me to You

Well, the move from hell is almost over. Nearly everything is at our new home and the old place is spotless (for the first time ever, I'm pretty sure). I'll write more about this moving experience later, because it was AN EXPERIENCE, but for now I wanted to share the project that's been taking up all my time and keeping me away from my blog. 

I'm mentioned that startup I'm writing for a few times. It's called Next Glass, and it's an app that's pretty much going to change the way we drink wine and beer. Next Glass is developing a recommendation system based completely on science, which bills itself as "the Pandora of beer and wine." We have actual chemists on staff, so you know it's legit. The app doesn't launch until the fall but in the meantime, the marketing team is working on generating some buzz. That's where I come in. 

I'm one of two writers for Next Glass News, which is sort of a Buzzfeed-style blog for booze. The project itself has gone through a million transformations and daily changes in direction, but our not-so-humble goal remains the same: write posts that go viral. Obviously this is no easy feat, and since starting in May I have studied more headlines and read more listicles than in my whole life combined. (I'd rather not think about what effect this might be having on my actual writing.) We just started promoting the blog a few weeks ago - if you follow me on Twitter or we're friends on Facebook, you've probably noticed me sharing some posts. At any rate, if you're interested in alcohol, you should check out the blog. Below are some of my favorite posts from the last few weeks, collected in a handy listicle for your browsing pleasure. 

7 Posts That Will Change Your Life and Everything You Ever Thought About Alcohol and Maybe Even Your Future Especially If You Can Time Travel and If You Can't Oh Well (that Buzzfeed boot camp is really paying off!) 

Thanks for checking out my posts! And in case you were worried that I've devoted my life completely to writing for the Internet, I do have an actual short story coming out this summer, in an actual literary journal, so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, I need to get back to work!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Almost There

As it turns out, I don't really like moving.

Yes, I like having a brand new space to play with - especially when that new space is a house that is easily a million times nicer and more comfortable than our old place. But good lord this whole moving thing is taking forever. Part of the reason is because we're doing it as cheaply as possible, and thus stretching it out. We borrowed a friend's motorcycle trailer and have been moving small loads of furniture and boxes every day since last week. Nathan insists this method is better, as it allows us to put things away as we bring them over and keeps boxes from piling up at the new place. I mostly agree, except for when I just want the whole process to be over. As of today, we're close. We have a few things from the attic to bring over, as well Nathan's shed, our outside stuff, and the chicken coop. Wish us luck. 

In the meantime, I really do love the new place. We've had a few challenges as far as where to put things and how to best use the smaller space, but overall it's been fun, like a puzzle. On the other hand, the experience of being confronted with all our STUFF is definitely sobering. Even though we've been downsizing and minimizing for what seems like forever, I still find my Goodwill pile growing bigger each time we make another trip. Which is good, I guess, expect where does it all come from? I would love to be one of those people who can fit everything they own into their car, and I'm getting closer, but there's still a long way to go. 

This post feels a little all over the place, probably because my life is literally all over the place right now. I just wanted to pop in, say hello, and share my existential angst in my favorite space for sharing existential angst. I seem to have accomplished that, so I guess I should get back to work. 

Thanks for listening. More soon.